Sunday, September 25, 2005
Woke up at ard 9:45.Pa came home today.*clap clap* althought didnt tok to him at least i get to see him like after dunno how mani mths. Went to do abit of housework, wasnt feeling well.So took a short rest so came online and look at sum blogs.Help mei to pack her stuff for camp tml.I can hab e bed to moiself while she's away.But i tink house will be much quiter coz mei will always be e one who on e tv till damn loud.Ma and i seldom watch tv.Guess i will be eating all for e next few days.
Make mi realise how much i hab grown through e years.I'm able to handle things more lightly, being more stronger although at times still veri emotional. It's normal! Many people might not understand why i did tis and tt. For instance, last yr during june when i was given a chance to make a decision to either break or still continue wit e relationship.He was honest, he told mi his feeling for mi is kind of fading but still hab sum feeling and has fallen for a ger in his sch at e same time.I was not moi usual self for few hours and went to tink abt it.I oso did ask him abt his decision, he chose her.I will respect ya decision and let u choose ur path.I believe when it's time to let go dun cling onto it.He wont be happy wit u and will treat ya coldly.The person getting hurt will be u not him.Is never easy to forget a person whom u hab been wit for a long time and hab brought laughter, joy and taught u mani things in life.U can onli forget partially not fully.All those memories will still linger in ya mind.I thought e ger would gib him e happiness he was searching for.I was wrong, real wrong.Instead of giving him happiness,she drove him to e edge.He was so lost and confused.I didnt knw wat i could do either, at tt time moi heart was so numb.I dun wan to get into any relationship.But i still did cause i could not forget him and just treat e other guy as replacement.I didnt treat them e way i treat him.He oso did e same, stead wit lots of ppl cox he couldnt forget her.Till sumwhere in may tis yr tt i found another him.But still we broke up after ard 2 mth plus.I found sumone else, a guy whom i like since feb.But during tt time one of his frens told mi tt he likes sumone else in class.The ger was much beta den mi.She was smart, quite a no of guys like her too at tt point of time.It all happen like tis.Went to lot 1 de ntuc wit lin,ming,jin,yuan,terry,bian.Was dunno doing wat den terry fone was wit mi den snatching away so i was oso snatching moi fone.He broke tt doggie on moi fone and of coz apologise.Went up to mini toon nxt but lin and him was together dunno wan to buy wat stuff damn secrective.Walked over to jin house, he gave mi e tigger de hp deco.Kind of surprise. Sit at staircase and tok den ask him if he likes any ger.He told mi yes but e ger hab stead and hab relationship prob wit her stead. So i tell him to jia you, take things step by step lorx.But i didnt knw tt e person was mi till e day after. I broke off wit moi stead due to sum reason and he found out so asked mi for stead lorx.I didnt agree immediately but told him i will consider and tell him e ans tml.Didnt tell him e ans directly, asked lin to tell for mi.Den went to jp after exam.Tt period was during mid-yr exam lorx. =]
Find tis song veri meaningful.A song which i like bahx.
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
to remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know(x2)
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Dazhu, at times i might not be veri nice to ya.Just like when ya wan to quit den i keep tempting u.I oso dunno why i did tt lahx.Just hope ya realli wont go do it again lorx.But if ya still do, den do bahx.I oso hab no right to control ya life.At times, i dun tink i treat ya veri nice lorx.Not a good stead, tink ya ex treat ya much beta den i do bahx.u might say i'm tinking alot but i'm just writing dwn how i realli feel deep dwn in moi heart lahx.I do get jealous at times, but tink never tell ya bahx.Although not those types who get jealous easily, but there are things u do realli make mi... during tt time when ya tell mi u cant forget ya ex, at tt point of time i realli feel like letting go.Tat's is y i tell ya, if ya still hab feeling for her den ask her for patch.Dun need care abt how i feel de.Tink tis might oso be e last relationship i'm getting into.I'm just too afraid of being deeply hurt.Is veri difficult to get a "whole-piece" heart after it's being shattered into pieces.Most guys can just forget e ger in maybe a day or so, is always easy for guys to forget gers i dunno y. Is never easy for gers to forget e guys tt they truly love.Hopefully, tis can last.I dunno, it all depends on how we handle it.Wat i can do now is to treasure everything tt i hab now, e times we spend, and treat ya well.If ya feeling hab fade le den tell mi bahx.Dun need to care how i will feel de, sooner or ltr still hab to face it de mahx.Tell earlier might be beta den ltr, feeling will always grow deeper.=] If ya hab anything to tell mi, den just call or msg mi bahx. Love u lots...
Live ur life wit a smile =] on ya face.U nvr knw wat u will go thru.Hence, instead of facing it wit a frown, face it wit a smile instead.
Y2:05 PM
