Friday, November 25, 2005
i wake up every morning feeling as down as ever. moi heart feels heavy and dry.
i look around and i cant feel myself anymore.i hate wat i've become. lets just face it, i cant let go. i can nvr let go of e past.e agony of e past.e worst moments i've ever been through for moi age.of cox,there are times u feel hopeless, be it in anything, but hell when u know u cant cope anymore,u just cant.i may be a selfish wreck but i nvr wanted to be affected by e things around me. likewise.its more than enough for moi to go through it moiself and it would kill to hab e people around u go through e same thing.i always believed tat things happened for a reason. now i don't anymore.becox,i can't seem to find a reason for moi wrong doings and for y i am like that.i envy e people around me, i envy them wit great jealousy. i knw i cant nvr be like tat once more. i've lost it.i dont wanna hab nothing in e end. i've learnt tat everyone can walk away even e ones u've thought would cry wit u. i've learnt it the hard way.im back under moi blanket filled wit worries.i said i was cold. but now, i feel hot.e agony of burning inside it.i just nvr tell part of e things that happened.if i had a second chance, i wish i could tell u. i sure miss you but i miss myself even more.sigh, reality bites back doesnt it?i slap myself back to reality because i know someday somehow i'll find my answers and moi prayers would be answered. theres always a rainbow at the end.when i said i've made the right decision, i meant it.i could nvr have been happier. i've always lived in moi own world.they always teach u nvr to give up.i hate it when i think too much. But i cant help it.
Y9:54 PM
